Most hikers are wimps. And I ramble.

Her shoes don't match. I'm disappointed. 

So I'm sitting at home with my parents watching yet another OPB show, and my dad starts making fun of me for not carrying enough weight while doing practice hikes. The hikers on the show were walking along the beach carrying very large, very full backpacks with sleeping bags and mats and who knows what else strapped on. They were three hippie-esque girls with butch haircuts and in dire need of showers. Then, I heard the announcer say that they were going on a 17-mile hike. Jenna and I could do 17 miles in a day!
 Who needs all that stuff to go 17 miles?? Besides, they had a camera crew following them, which I'm sure they knew about far in advance. They could have taken showers before they set out. Or even the day before. Heck, I've gone four days without washing my hair and it still looked better than theirs. (Yes, four days, and I even went to work on the fourth day. Have no fear, I did not smell, a coworker confirmed this when I asked if it looked like I hadn't showered in four days. I think they probably still haven't realized I wasn't being sarcastic) Anyhow, back to the "hikers." Seventeen miles?? You can have someone pick you up at the end of that. And they were "hiking" on the beach. That can't be too terribly taxing. It's flat, has the highest level of oxygen enrichment anywhere (not sure of this, does Death Valley have more? Probably not, the sun would burn it up) and if you stay on the hard sand (as they were) you don't even have to fight unevenness. Why hike? Drop your bags and run. I bet you could even make it back to the car by sundown including walk breaks.

**OK, so most hikers aren't wimps. And we are slightly wimpy ourselves. But really, the OPB hikers were way overpacked. Not that Jenna and I don't overpack. We do. You should see what we carry in our purses just to make it through  one day. There are many excellent hikers in the world, we aspire to be like them. Maybe cleaner though.**  

Baby Okapi. I want one :)
 I'll bring it hiking too. 

So back to why Jenna and I aren't wimps, like most hikers. We hike fast. We hike hills. We hike after going to work at 5 a.m. to get in our 8 hours and still have time to hike. We hike in the rain. We hike on empty stomachs. Our hikes rarely go exactly as planned, but we still hike. We memorized Carl's phone number so he can rescue us if ever we end up miles away from where we want to be, yet still know where we are. We hiked up Marys Peak in snowshoes, and while wanting to die 100 meters from the top, we still made it.
Sure, there are times we don't hike — like when we're happy being fat and lazy at home eating cheerios and watching Roman Holiday — but for the most part when we hike we really mean it. We hike for training, and we train to hike. Treadmill inclines and intervals and power and strengthening are essential to building the bodies we will be needing this summer.
Enough of the bragging.

Random facts and a few giggles:

• Hairspray can be used as bug spray. 

This is why we should bring some hiking. I don't have a sneaky excuse for my mascara yet, but I'll work on it.

• In an emergency, a drawstring from a parka hood can be used to strangle a snoring tent mate.

Good thing we don't snore. 

• A lion's roar can be heard from five miles away. 

Phew, thank goodness, we'll be able to hide from a lion in plenty of time. 


Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
    "Watson, look up and tell me what you see."
    Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
    "What does that tell you?" Holmes asked.
    Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Why, what does it tell YOU?"
    Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot. Some jerk has stolen our tent."

Hehe I'm a dork. 

• In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic waistband of your underwear.

I don't think this is going to work for us. A) We will hike ourselves right to safety and food. B) I always carry far too many fruit leathers to need to eat raw rabbit. C) Pretty sure my slingshot skills are not that good. Perhaps we should practice. And finally, D) My underwear is far too flimsy to be a slingshot.




Is that TMI? Oh well. Some of our hiking conversations couldn't pass for PG either.